Fade Into You Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Fionna stood at the mouth of Marshall Lee's cave, wiping her puffy red eyes as she stared at her reflection in the water. She hated that she looked such a mess, that the fearless (former) adventuress looked so unkempt and vulnerable. The entire trek over to Marshall Lee's place consisted of her sobbing quietly as her tired, shaky legs brought her closer to the one person she knew could make her feel better.

Funny how this is the same thing I was doing five years ago... But now I'm heading in the opposite direction.

She couldn't stop thinking about how much she'd hurt Gumball. How much he had hurt her. How much dread she had felt when she had taken off that ring. Her finger felt so much lighter without it. She felt lighter all together. But she felt awful about what she had done to the poor candy prince.

He was right. She thought as she stared at her haggard self in the water. He has done so much for me. And this is how I repay him?

She sighed heavily and turned away from her reflection, she couldn't stand to look at it any longer. She patted her tear stained cheek one last time before heading into the cave, and to Marshall Lee's doorstep. Fionna awkwardly shifted around before she could muster the strength and courage to knock on the door softly. Almost instantly, the black haired vampire boy was there, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of his distressed best friend.

"Fi? What's up, I thought you weren't coming until later tonight...?"

She pushed past him and into his quaint little home, instantly feeling a warm, tingly sense of belonging she had felt every time she came here. She quietly sat down on his couch, which was hard as a rock, but she was too emotional to care at this point. 

"I'm sorry, I just... I got in a fight with Gumball. I couldn't think of going anywhere else."

He floated over to her and hovered next to her over the couch, lightly running his long fingers through the blonde hair that was exposed beneath her bunny hat.

"It's no problem blue." He whispered with an aching chest. He hated seeing her so upset. It nearly crushed him to see her blue eyes so broken. "What did Dumb-ball do now?"

She broke into a fit of heavy sobs and tried to explain the tale as best as she could. Marshall Lee sat there, listening intently, his brow furrowing every so often.

"What the fuck." Was all he could say. Inside though, he felt total fury, and wanted to break Gumball in half. How dare he try to control Fionna that way...

She nodded. "I know. I just don't know what to do at this point. I mean, Gumball has been there for me forever, and I owe him everything. But at the same time, I just don't know how much longer I'll be able to last cooped up in that flippin' castle, with all those flippin' rules!" She threw her hands up in exasperation, while Marshall Lee sat there quietly, thinking. "I'm just not... Happy." she whispered.

"Dude, you shouldn't be with somebody if they don't make you happy." He said, frowning deeply. He was at such a cross road here, because while he wanted to comfort her and give her proper advice and a proper solution, like a real friend, he really just wanted to take her in his arms and keep her for himself, for the rest of eternity. "Sure, Gummy has done a lot for you, but if there isn't that... Spark, or passion, or whatever, then maybe it isn't worth it. You gotta go with your gut, y'know? Just don't confuse doing the right thing with doing the right thing, I guess." 

Fionna's face contorted in confusion. "What the plop are you talking about?"

He sighed and leaned back leisurely as he floated. "I'm talking about how you know that you don't genuinely wanna marry Gum Gum because you don't genuinely love him. And don't lie, because you know you don't. You wanna marry him because you feel obligated. But that isn't how it works. Usually, people get married because they love each other, and because there is no other person they'd want to spend the rest of their lives with, through thick and thin. But that isn't how you feel. You don't love him, you just feel like you owe it to him for being there for you this whole time. So what I mean is, while it may seem like the right thing to marry Gumball, because he loves you and junk, it isn't, because you wanna be honest to him and to yourself, and follow your heart. It's like a whole battle between your heart and your head, get it now?"

She stared at the ceiling, mulling his words over. "I think so."

He shook his head, his messy black locks brushing his face softly. He placed his hands on her shoulders gingerly, forcing her gaze to stay locked on his. 

"Look blue, you just need to do what you think is best. Do what makes you happy. You don't want to be stuck in a life of endless regret, trying to figure out what you could've done to make things better, wondering what would've been. Because I've been living, well, not physically living, for the past thousand years, and when you have the kind of time I do, you end up thinking a lot about the past... a lot."

Fionna stared into his black eyes, which showed a thousand years of emotion and brutal honesty. She put a hand on his cheek, and he instinctively leaned into her touch. She held her chin up a bit higher before a slow grin spread across her face.

"You always knew what to say." She whispered. He smiled at her, his fangs gleaming softly. He chuckled after a moment and floated away from the couch, grabbing her hand and attempting to pull her off it. 

"C'mon, lets do some adventuring."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's unsettling how well you're doing this." Fionna said, staring into the hand held mirror as Marshall Lee braided her hair expertly. "Like seriously, I can't even braid hair. Your manliness is becoming questionable."

He glared as he worked away on her freakishly long, golden hair. "Shut up. I'm as manly as they come..." he muttered. He loved playing with Fionna's hair, or even just seeing out out of the confines of her adorable bunny hat in general. 

They had spent the entire evening adventuring, so basically they were out for at least six hours. They'd gone everywhere, from Lumpy Space, to the Badlands, to Beautopia, to the Ice Kingdom, and even to visit Cake and the kittencorns in the old treehouse where Cake and Mochro lived, where Fionna used to live. Marshall Lee had been so creeped out by the little hybrids at first, but then he learned to love them. Cake wasn't so happy with the sudden arrival of Marshall Lee, but she wasn't mad either. She was just happy that Fionna was smiling, and actually smiling. Lord knows she hadn't seen a real smile from the blue eyed blonde in ages. They were now back at Marshall Lee's, and it was pretty late, so Marshall Lee convinced Fionna to sleep over for a sort of best friend reunion mock slumber party. And Fionna readily agreed, she hadn't had this much fun in forever.

"Where did you even learn how to...?"

"The nitosphere." He answered nonchalantly. "When you're as antisocial as I am, with tons of time to spare and five lovely sisters," the sarcasm in his voice was clear as day. "you manage to get sucked into some... girl time."

Fionna looked at his face in the mirror. "Wait, you have siblings? Not only siblings, but five sisters?" her shock was genuine. "How come you've never told me."

"I also have three brothers." Fionna looked at him incredulously. Marshall Lee shrugged and continued weaving her golden locks. "I guess it never came up... I didn't really like to talk about my family before I went back home, I've always had kind of a strained relationship with all of them... But going back made me realize how much they really meant to me. Family is forever. Especially if said family consists of all immortal members."

She giggled lightly. "Tell me about them. Your siblings, I mean."

He frowned in confusion. "Why?"

Fionna slumped slightly from her position on the floor and looked at the ceiling, chewing on her cheek. "I guess I've never really had a real family. I mean, Cake is my sister, and Momma and Pops are my parents, but not by blood. I've always wondered what it's like to have, y'know... an actual family."

He nodded and continued to work. "I get you... Well, I'm the second youngest of the four boys, so it's Marcus, then Hunter, then me, then Xaphan. And then my sisters are Arella, then Marina, then Marceline, then Scarlett, we call her Scar though, and then my youngest sister is Violet..." 

For the next half hour, he regaled small facts and stories about his large family, with Fionna's questions interrupting him every so often. Marshall Lee loved the fact that she was so captivated by his tales. Fionna was just so dazzled by the way Marshall Lee would speak about them, his voice passionate and loving. She knew he cared about them a great deal, even though the Vampire King rarely showed his affection for others. 

"... And so that is how I became the Vampire King. Marcus was so pissed, it was actually really funny how beat up he was over it, until he knocked out one of my fangs, that is... But he apologized, and I forgave him. We ended up having a huge party for me after that, and it was just me and my sibs and my parents. It was quite honestly, the best time of my undead life." 

"Wow." Fionna said softly. "They all sound so wonderful, Marsh..."

"Yeah, they are." he said, a smile and a hint of pride in his voice. "Maybe you'll get to meet them someday..." 

Fionna smiled to herself. The idea of it brought a light to her eyes. "That'd be totally tops."

He finally finished the ridiculously long, Rapunzel-like braid, and smiled triumphantly. 

"Done! Jesus blue, have you ever heard of this crazy thing called a haircut?"

She stroked her beautifully woven hair, sticking her tongue out at him. "Shut up! Cake tried to give me one once, when I was like twelve or something, but her claws aren't exactly the most precise tools to use for that kind of thing... So I just decided to never get a haircut ever again."

He chuckled and helped her off the floor of his bedroom. Standing up, her hair almost touched the ground. 

"Wanna grab a midnight snack?" He asked, looking at the clock to see that it was nearly one in the morning.

"Is that even a question? I'm starving!" She said, making a beeline for the kitchen.

He laughed and stared after her as she walked away. He knew that there was no way he would ever not love her. It hurt his chest to think about it. But he was used to the aching by now, since he did nothing but think about her when he was away. It astounded him how different things were before he left. When they were both happy together... But he had to stupidly ruin it. Now she was with Gumball, Gumball, of all people. Well, candy people... 

He sighed and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as he watched her fix herself a bowl of red jello.

She saw him and pointed at the bowl. "Want some?" She asked as she chewed on a strawberry.

He nodded his head and smiled a little. No matter how old she got, she'd always have that youthful, innocent, playful sparkle in her ocean eyes. That's one of the things he loved most about her. 

He slowly stepped over to where she was standing, placing himself next to her and grabbing a strawberry.

"I just realized that you're twenty years old, and you're still as short as you were when you were fifteen." He said in a playful manner as he sucked the red hue from the strawberry.

She shrugged. "I'm kind of glad. I hate aging and stuff. Things just get so much more... Muchy. I wish I could've stayed fifteen forever..." Her voice trailed off as she stared at her jello. "Things were simpler then."

Marshall Lee looked at her, eyebrows furrowed. "What was so simple about you when you were fifteen? From what I remember, you were still going through your awkward phase, and you weren't afraid to make that abundantly clear. Oh my god, and you were so candid about talking about your period..." He said, laughing as she glared at him.

"Whatever, I wasn't that bad!" She said defensively, shoving him with her hip. Marshall Lee still continued to laugh uncontrollably as his mind flooded with memories.

 "You were basically like a bro with boobs! Like a boyish personality trapped in a menstruating, girls body!"

She began to laugh too, remembering how awkward Marshall Lee was when she would complain about her period, and how she never noticed his awkwardness. 

"I guess I never really was a real girl, huh?"

"Not in the slightest." He grinned. "I think the only time I ever saw you wear a dress was... Actually I think a few nights ago when I came back! And you looked like a piece of cotton candy!"

"I know dude! I hated that thing..." she suddenly stopped laughing and leaned against the counter. "I've actually started wearing dresses on a regular basis, seeing how Gumball feels the need to throw a party all the time, and it is apparently improper for a princess to not wear a suitable ball gown at parties... Or at least that's what Gumball told me."

Marshall Lee shook his head and stared at her face for a long time. She looked so irritated when she talked about Gumball. He felt sorry for her. He hated that she has had to go through all this. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her, to hold her. It was like they were magnets, or some cliche thing like that.

So that's what he did.

Fionna had been staring at him in silence when Marshall Lee suddenly took her soft face in his ands, and pressed his lips to hers gently, but with so much passion. 

At first she was shocked, but the surprise quickly faded as she let herself be enveloped by the warmth radiating from the vampire boy. So she continued to kiss him back, finally receiving what she had been longing for all this time. Kissing Marshall Lee was so familiar, so sweet, just like she remembered from when she was fifteen. She missed this so much.

But of course, her conscience quickly bitch slapped her into reality.

You're still technically engaged to Gumball, you hussy. No matter how right this feels, it isn't. 

She wanted her thoughts to stop cock-blocking her, but she knew it was the truth. So she pulled away from Marshall Lee, not realizing her arms had been so tightly wrapped around his neck. And she still chose not to let him go. She physically couldn't.

"Wait, Marsh..."

He sighed defeatedly and rested his forehead against hers. "I know, blue." He closed his eyes, the pain evidently showing on his face. "I know."

"If you know, then why did you..."

"I just couldn't do it any longer, Fionna." he whispered. "I'm not able to just be your friend, and your friend only. I can't not be with you like we were when you were fifteen. I mean, yeah, you're my best friend... But it hurts me to pretend like everything that existed between us never happened."

She began to tremble slightly underneath him. She wanted to cry, but she hated crying. It made her feel weak. 

"I know Marsh, I know how you feel." She whispered back to him, looking into his eyes. "But I don't know what to do."

He nodded and buried his head into her neck, his black hair tickling her cheek. 

"Why did you have to say yes to him... I thought you knew that I..."

Before he could finish that sentence, Fionna pushed him away, fire blazing in her blue eyes.

"Do not finish that statement." She glared at him harshly. "You think that I didn't feel the same way? I never got over you, dammit!" She was angry now. "I thought you weren't coming back! That's why I agreed to marry him! You left me here, with no explanation why, and Gumball was here, and he was my friend. My feelings for him don't even compare to my feelings for you, Marshall Lee!"

He was taken aback by her outburst for a quick moment, before his face softened and he dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He refused to say anything, or else the pain in his chest would kill him.

They stared at each other for a long time in silence, Fionna's tears had finally spilled over, but her eyes were still hard. 

"I love you, not him." she whispered brokenly, her stance still defensive.

Marshall Lee finally gained control over his movements again, and he latched his arms around her waist tightly so she couldn't leave.

"I am so sorry." He told her softly into her ear, voice shaking. "I never meant to hurt you the way I did, and I regret it so much. You have to believe me."

She closed her eyes and put her arms around him, giving in and clutching him to her.

"I've never stopped loving you, blue."

She pulled back slightly so she could look at his face. She gave him a watery smile and kissed him without a second thought.

They stayed there in complete silence, in the kitchen, holding each other for what felt like the rest of the night.